One year ago today...

...we received the call that would change our lives forever. Our agency called and told us that we had a daughter. I asked her name right away. She said, "Qi Jia Kun." I asked how to spell it as Qi sounds like "chi." She said it started with a Q. I was so beside myself that I completely forgot how to write! In a panic, I told Joe, "I don't know how to make a Q! How do I make a Q? What do I do? What do I do?" I did fine with the rest of her name until I got to the letter K, at which I panicked again. "A K? What's a K? How do I write that?"

I eventually calmed down some. The agency said they'd e-mail a photo. We were leaving for an event in about an hour where I would not have access to e-mail for the entire evening. Then right before we left, we checked our e-mail and saw our daughter for the first time. Jia was sitting outdoors on a fluffy blanket. (And she was actually outdoors - it wasn't some weird faux background commonly seen in referral photos where the kid appears to be on a bridge or riding a moped or surfboard). She looked like a beefy football player in her many layers of clothes. She had a lot of hair, a little downturned mouth, a cute button nose, and was leaning against a tree. If you zoomed in very close, you could see the teeniest tear in her eye. Most of all, she looked uncertain and scared. It made us want to scoop her up right there and tell her that everything would be okay.

Here is the photo so you can see it for yourselves.

Of the three referral photos we received, this one looked the least like her as we know her now. The following day we received two more photos.


The event that we attended the night that we received her referral was a benefit for the China AIDS Orphan Fund. I am on the board of the organization and helped plan the event. It was a festival celebrating Chinese culture with traditional cuisine, performances and art. It felt so very appropriate to be there and I had the opportunity to ask my colleagues about the meaning of Jia's name and about her province. That night we also purchased a piece of Chinese art that is a painting of children flying kites. Jia loves it.

With a referral, you can't help but imagine your child's character. Everything that was written in the referral about her personality has been spot on. The referral said, "She likes to express herself." We know now that this means that she loudly lets you know when she's happy, unhappy, bored, hungry or frustrated! She doesn't hold anything back. It said that she was smart, loved music and her favorite place was outside. All true. It also said, "She laughs aloud and has a ready smile." This took a while in coming, but she is one of the giggliest, most gleeful kids I know. The post I wrote after we received her referral is on her old site here.

In my grand plan, I was going to take a photo of Jia holding her referral photo today. However, sometimes toddlers just don't do what you want! (Surprise surprise). All she wanted to do was play with the tabs on the back of picture frame so I couldn't get a single photo of her looking up. We'll give it another try this weekend.

The referral just had the basics. It didn't mention that Jia is incredibly gentle and sweet. She wants to give hugs to all kids looking sad or having meltdowns (not that they all want hugs at that point). It didn't say that she is sharp as a tack, never missing a beat. It didn't say that she has a wildly advanced sense of humor. It didn't say that there is nothing better than having her yell your name and run into your arms cheering. It also didn't say that we'd fall madly in love with her.