We just spent our first night away from Jia. We had enough points to stay free at a hotel downtown and my parents spent the night at our house. My parents are, hands-down, her favorite people in the world.
We've had Jia for over a year. She goes to part-time day care, loves it, and has no issues with the routine. But again, this was our first night away.
We returned home, she happily acknowledged us and then continued to play with grandpa and grandma. We were encouraged that everything had gone so well. We had a fun family-filled evening.
During cuddle time that night, Jia looked at me straight in the eye and held still. (This is rare; she usually looks at me but then is off and busy.) She said, "Mama, no go away." Then she turned to Joe and looked him right in the eye, "Baba, no go away." Then she said, "Hug Mama and Baba" and, as she was between us, hugged us both at the same time. We, crying by this point, reassured her repeatedly that we were her parents forever and ever and ever. We've said it before, but I think she needed to hear it again, and we will say it profusely in the future.
After a while, I put her to bed. Standing outside her room, I heard her reciting the names of her family members over and over: Mama, Baba, Grandma, Grandpa, Auntie Susie, Uncle Pat, Cousin Han, etc. Oh, how it tugged at my heart. I think about how much loss this poor kid has experienced, and how very long it must take for her to build up the trust and faith to believe that we will not leave her, as others have.
Well, we have our lifetimes to continue to prove it.
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7 comments:
Oh, sure, make me cry at work!
That's a great story, and I'm glad to hear Jia is bonding so closely with Mommy & Daddy!
What a sweetie...I love hearing Annslee on the monitor reciting family members too : )
It really makes you wonder what is going on in their little minds.
How sweet! It must feel great that this is truly another wonderful step in bonding! As parents those words sure do tug at the heart!
Okay, now you made me cry at the library!
Even though she doesn't remember China, she remembers the feeling of loss. Sad what the human mind can carry forward even when it's surpassed by so much love. All those bonding issues, they're history. She's yours and you're hers. I'm all teary. Hurray.
Okay, where's my tissues? This was so sweet and so sad at the same time.
Great story! Claire will sometimes recite the same "always coming home" sentence to reassure herself. We have used that phrase since she has been home. I am so glad we were given the opportunity to parent such wonderful girls as Jia and Claire. It is a true blessing to be able to spend the rest of our lives showing them how to trust and assurance that they won't be left again.
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